Individuals battling substance abuse can become different versions of themselves and make decisions or behave in ways that hurt their loved ones. Addiction is often isolating, which can make quitting difficult. With proper treatment, individuals can become sober and turn their lives around. In a sober living house, members can transition out of treatment and adjust to their living amends new substance-free lifestyle. They also have the opportunity to work on repairing their relationships with friends and family that may have been damaged because of their previous addiction struggles.
Trust God. Clean House. Help Others.Living Amends
You can also turn to AA’s Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the 12 & 12) for guidance specific to Step 8. Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother. I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.
- When someone is in the throes of active addiction, their behavior and choices often clash with their true values, causing significant harm to their relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.
- This can be disheartening, but it’s important to practice patience and persistence, as making amends is often a gradual process.
- Book Jason for speaking engagements, events or appearances and let him bring the message of recovery & hope.
- There are some general strategies to keep in mind as you make your list of people to see and what to say to each one of them.
- After all, I hadn’t hurt anyone (Step 8), so I didn’t need to make any amends (Step 9).
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Feeling ashamed of past mistakes should not prevent you from making amends. Recovery is about aligning your actions with your intentions, which often did not match during the time period of your active addiction. A few months back, she was traveling for an extended period of alcohol rehab time. Well, the time came to continue my living amends to her and redo her entire master suite, including her bathroom.
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Before and after making amends, it’s important to remember why we’re doing it in the first place. We’re taking accountability for our actions during active addiction, and we’re marking for ourselves a new chapter where those behaviors are no longer acceptable. We’re telling the world, “Addiction made me behave a certain way. I don’t like it, and it doesn’t reflect the person I want to be in recovery.” We can also make a living amends by changing the behaviors that hurt or harmed them, and we can let go of the all-consuming guilt that would only tempt us to use again. If we had not done the work in the first eight steps, we wouldn’t now have a foundation on which to stand while we make our amends.
Should I Work on Step Eight Alone?
Celebrate Recovery Step 9 showed you how to forgive, make amends, and accept the freely given gift of grace from God. If you need a good place to start, consider doing a Bible study or starting a Bible reading plan. You only need to listen to Him to get those nudges or “feelings” inside that give you a sense of what He is trying to tell you. Profess your faith in Christ as our one and only Savior, and receive eternal life.
Situations Where Living Amends Can Come In Handy
- Preparing for amends involves deep reflection on past actions and considering the intent behind them.
- No doubt you will experience challenges and setbacks along the way.
- Therefore some Step Nine amends may take a little creativity and patience.
- But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive.
- And some people in your life may not be receptive on your timeline.
- Reach out in advance to set up a time to meet in a safe space.3.
Perhaps it is something you said or did while they were ill. Now, whether it is an apology, a want for forgiveness, or an amends, that person isn’t here and it makes it hard to imagine any of those things are possible. When someone is alive and you’ve hurt them, amends are more straightforward. You might go to that person and take responsibility for what you have done wrong, express you deep remorse, and ask what you can do to make it up to them. You may couple that making of amends with a request for forgiveness.
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Tank Tops for Summer Strength: Stay Cool, Stay Clear
An amend involves rectifying or making right what was wrong. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”. A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology. Unfortunately, there are many things that we do in our using that we can not rectify with tangible goods or direct amends.